A poem

To the newborn baby girl that had no name to claim
The mother escaped the death bed whilst the father chased a new flame
Grateful grandparents that were so happy that she came.
To the two year old girl curiously watching you in the hall
No reaction from you at all
A small gift from your mother
She was the only one to bother.
To the 8 year old finding out about you
which was changing her whole view
Going to the youth office to find out your name
but no response came.
To the 12 year old girl helping her mother
writing notice letters as you could not bother
The money was tight
But you lived in full height.
To the 14 year old girl staying away from school
To get a glimpse at the construction side of you
Making friends close to you
Her whole life was all about you.
To the 16 year old girl riding alone through the fields of golden wheat
calling your number and wanting to meet
but there was no responding greet.
To the 18 year old girl that YOU finally wanted to meet
It felt like the long awaited treat
she still had to ride her bike for the first greet
A few years of reconciliation to follow
But with promises so hollow.
To the 22 year old young woman heading off to the big world
and coming home to the netherworld
A Sunny day in May
But you went away
Shuttered were her heart and dreams
As nothing was as it seems.
Something inside of her just died
As there had been to much lied
She promised to never look back
when the airplane was on the track.
To the 25 year old travelling the world
Far away to the sunworld
Sometimes still calling
and stalling.
To the 29 year old that called you for the last time
You just could not give a dime
There was a new man in her life
And he was worth to have her as his wife.
To the 31 year old giving birth to a baby girl so sweet
Never spoke of you again as her life was now complete
Her baby girl had the most wonderful father
Something that you could never offer.
To the 37 old sometimes still perplexed inside
Still riding her bike now along a river so wide
Looking at her beautiful husband and daughter with full pride.
I have written this poem to heal from my dysfunctional relationship with my birth father which still haunts me sometimes into adulthood. The wonderful Tara Mohr inspired me to the poem style. Thank you for reading!


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